In bed right now so this will be short, yay Android. I'm mildly perturbed at a situation I'm in. Note the term "FRIEND." Make friend who is female, friend helps me study, generally end up at the bar post-emt stuff. Last Saturday after the practical, I went out drinking as usual. Later that evening, I texted female friend from class. The response was from a mutual friend, essentially saying "I know you Just wanna get into her pants. She's a carpet muncher. Don't even try blah blah." I'm gentlemanly with this kid, but I'm seething. He makes an assumption and it snowballs into influencing someones opinion of me. I know you've only been out of high school for a year dude, but this is the real world. Welcome to it. I'm just appalled he'd use a discriminating term to describe his friend, while completely alienating me from them. I have nothing to say to either of them, I'm afraid its going to just be a, "piss off."

No Christmas cards for them.

Progress!

Thursday night was the SCCC EMT test. Passed! Today was the EMT-B practical skills exam for NYS DOH. Passed!

Score.

Story Time!

I knew a kid once, felt terrible for him. He was average all around. Bright, smart, sharp, but got picked on relentlessly. Elementary school was absolutely hellish. Every single day was dreaded. He was afraid to do well, afraid to really shine, because of the jealousy children can harbor and the horrid things it makes them do. He always wanted to be a doctor, told his family so, and when they asked why? "To help people!" Was always the enthusiastic answer. This kid grew into a teenager, got into a police training program, which shaped just about every aspect of his life. It kept his nose clean, it kept his hair short, and it kept him hyper vigilant. He knew how to defend himself mentally and physically, and from that point on was untouchable. The only true thing he feared, no.. fears, is abandonment. Having the people you love exclude you or choose not to have you around is debilitating to the ego. In college, he got a job as a salesman in an electronics store. His mind was inflated, he was going to run that shit someday. Then, he also started working for a bank. Promises of wealth, moving up the ladder, and helping people in a different way. There was a nagging in the back of his mind. That nagging wondered why it was he suffered a silk noose every day, why he stressed over performance, and why he wasn't doing something he enjoyed. Sure, finances had him pinned down. He was afraid. Afraid to excel, afraid to shine, afraid to be bright and take charge of what he knew was possible. Fuck it, let's blow both jobs and see what happens. That kid is a week away from a huge test. A massive, absolutely terrifying test c/o the NYS Dept of Health. However, that kid is going to walk into Ered Nimrais and make that test his bitch.

"I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. An hour of woes and shattered shields, when the age of men comes crashing down, but it is not this day. This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good Earth, I bid you stand, Men of the West!"

You and I have some things to discuss.

First of all, we need to be on the same level. Come down from your pedestal please. Now, clean out your ears and take off those glasses made of misconceptions. Talk to me on the level, and this might actually go somewhere. You have a degree? Awesome, why aren't you using it or doing what you love? Call me a dropout, call me a loser, but why is it I am doing something I love and you are a slave to loans and things are so hard for you? I figured as much, you have a degree, I forgot that a $30,000 piece of paper makes you better than me. Apologies.

Secondly, there is literally not enough time in life. In the grand scheme of things, we're pretty insignificant. We need to slow down and stop trying to view life as a sprint. It's much more of a saunter. Do things at your own pace, because you want to. Oh, it's not the norm? Tough shit, get a helmet.

I don't need to justify myself to you or anybody. If I am happy and content, why would you even try to take that away? What does that do for you? Give you a moment's respite from staring at yourself in the mirror and wondering, "What went wrong?" That's fantastic, if you have to tear other people down because you aren't satisfied, you disgust me. In fact, if you tear other people down for no reason, you disgust and infuriate me.

You are not a celebrity, and those things called "haters" don't actually give a fuck about you. They probably dislike you because you're a douchebag, aloof of anything in the world except what YOU want or what you want to do. Life is not all about you.

I heard a speech once, from Jimmy V, all about life and what not to forget. Three paramount things are who you are, where you're from and where you're going. So, who are you? Really? Who are you in your heart? Why are you a different person in public? Is there some discrepancy that you have to make up for, or live up to? Where are you from? How does that effect you? Where are you going? Why? What are you doing to get there?

My grandmother was taken from me on Thanksgiving of this year. Her name was Catherine Radich, from Brooklyn. She had a husband for a time, and two daughters. One of those daughters is my mother. The other is my aunt, who has not been heard from in years. My grandmother was the absolute epitome of strength. It was her, my mom and my aunt. She taught my mom everything she knows about being the best mother ever. She worked for Time Life for a very, very long time until moving to Schenectady to be closer to us. Sundays were crossword puzzles and opera. I only wish I knew her better. She bought me my first Game Boy! My favorite quote ever, "A *Game Boy???* What the heck is that?" I was a lad then, now at 22 I was a pallbearer for her, bringing her to her eternal resting spot. Rest in peace, Gramma Kay, may perpertual light shine upon you. I love you. Thank you for raising the best mother ever, and thank you for epitomizing strength.

Echoes of Doom

If I could embed the original trailer for Wrath of the Lich King I would. Unfortunately I am not that savvy. It was a cold day in Best Buy as usual, and everyone who played WoW was excited for some reason. The next expansion was leaked, and the trailer was on YouTube. Off we go to the Mac section to watch. We were greeted with something we have been waiting for since Warcraft III: The Frozen Throne. Finally, we get to take the fight to the Lich King. Finally we get revenge for Lordaeron. We waited and waited...

Then it happened. Patch 3.0.2, titled Echoes of Doom. "Finally, a king returns to his people..."

Stormwind Harbor was now completed, the Argent Dawn had set up camps in our cities, Dalaran had moved to Northrend. Something was happening. In Booty Bay to the south, strange crates were turning up. These crates, as happened so many years before to the Kingdom of Lordaeron, were full of plagued grain. The Lich King was reaching out again. Nothing to worry about, a 10-minute incubation and one cleanse to cure it. The crates then made their way into our cities. Stormwind, Ironforge, Darnassus and the Exodar were full of plagued crates. The Infection now lasted 5 minutes, and was getting harder to cure. Then it spread further, to the residents of lower-level zones. Plagued residents wandered about, the zombies becaume stronger and harder to cure. More Argent Dawn forces took root in our cities, the infection takes 2 minutes, the rodents infected the guards and chaos was everywhere. Then the Scourge's necropoli began bearing down on our lands, fought back by the heroes of Azeroth. It only got worse. The plague now took hold in 1 minute, the Argent Healers were MIA and the plague was nigh impossible to cure. Finally, in Shattrath city a cure was found. This was passed to the Alliance and Horde, as the necropoli were destroyed with help from the Naaru.

We had won a small, fleeting victory. The real enemy was in the frozen Northern wastes, brooding and building an army. An army he would unleash and wipe life from Azeroth. We made our preparations to set out, not knowing what awaited us.

1 month and 5 days ago

Was my last entry. Oops. Since then, I have been laid off. Unemployment is easily the most boring thing I have ever done in my life. Luckily, Sensei/Coach/Jason Morris is letting me take judo until I can pay him. Swish. Also, I am enrolled in the EMT class. FINALLY. This has been YEARS in the making.

Let's take it back to when I was 18. I was 5 years into a police training program, and way too squared away for an 18 year old. Alcohol and drugs weren't anything I would even dream of doing. There was a girl I was crazy about. Around this time I got into EMS. I loved it, there was nothing like being the first people to the scene of an accident or any sort of health concern. I was one of the people that the public turned to. Sunday nights were the most exciting time ever. From 6-10pm, I was living my dream. It became a ritual, every Sunday night I'd show up at 6 with Tim and we'd immediately do a rig check. Once that was set, we waited for the rest of the Explorers to get there and we would do our usual meetings and training. I would always try to partner with this girl. The whole while, we would wait for the tones to drop. Summer was a blast, we'd always toss a football inside the bay or outside if we could see. Winters were always cold, hence us both rocking Under Armor with the already hilarious yellow and black uniforms. Everyone thought we were related. Then, one night when we showed up, it was all over. The program had suddenly been dissolved. I met a lifelong friend there as well. My friend "Doctor Dave," or David Neubert. We're still friends to this day, and whenever we go anywhere together people think we're brothers. Apparently, all us whiteys look the same. Anyways, the Explorer program was gone, and I was going to college. Things changed so suddenly.

I still did the police explorer program, and the looks I got walking down the dorm hallway in a full class A uniform, badge and all were priceless. EMS went on the backburner, as did the police explorers for awhile. I'm now working at Best Buy and I left college. Sure, I have everything I want but I'm not really DOING anything.

Now, I'm 22 and working at a bank. I am unhappy. My usual demeanor is completely altered thanks to working in a stifled, flourescent-lit hell. After 10 months, I get laid off. Uh-oh. Hey, wait a sec....

"Back to school." One of the most dreaded quotes ever was now the most inspiring. I enrolled in the EMT class 2 days later, and am heading in the right direction.

Let's hope this works.

I has a bonsai tree.

And it is awesome. I almost left it outside last night, which would have undoubtedly killed it. Oops. Maybe I'm learning to be responsible?

Yeah, no.

Judo is going. 3 months off killed me, and I did nothing but get fat, lazy and lose any technique I had. Believe me, it wasn't much. Going to keep on keeping on though.

I am less angry.

Yet another day of RSX drama. Thank God for networking. The shop quoted my repair as $4,000. FOUR THOUSAND *FUCKING* DOLLARS. I think I'd prefer a blowjob from some piranhas. Moving on, a very reputable and well-recommended local garage located an engine for $900 and will do the work for $800. Fuckin' a, Ilsa will be back in business. Also, I'll be refinancing my loan through SEFCU. With the refinance, I might get a little extra and throw some headers in that bitch. Maybe even a K20A3.

Anyways, the RSX will be back and better than ever. That is all I care about.

I am angry. Again.

Fuck. My. Life. The KKK took my baby away. Imagine it's Saturday night. You are driving yourself, your best friend and two females down to a block party for a night of shenanigans. You're driving in your shiny, black 2002 Acura RSX. The window is partially down so you can hear the whine of your intake when you hammer the accelerator to show off. Your ion yellow foglights are on, again, just to show off. The interior is as if a submarine, lit by red LEDs. The car is a work of art. Everything was thought about. Honda spared no detail with this car. Look at any review of it, the entire shebang was about the driver. The car begged to be driven. As you are fulfilled what will soon be the last wishes of such an art piece, everything. stops.

"What the fuck was that?"

Everyone's fine. Get out of panic mode. Get out. Smoke. Combustion smoke. Open the hood, don't choke on the cloud. What the fuck? What happened? Everything looks fine. Move it out of the road. What did you just step in? Oil. Why? You just lost half a quart. No engine pressure. Why? Dad's here, you're saved. Push it to the side of the road. Go home, wash up. Take mom's car to go pretend to have fun.

Tuesday. Your car is finally towed to a shop, you wait all day and hear nothing. Wednesday, bloody Wednesday. "Bad news about car, call on lunch. -Mom." I knew it. It's all over. Maybe I just popped the oil filter out of place, wishful thinking. A piston nearly went through the engine block. You are fucked, and need a new motor. There is no way around this. You cannot get a loan for a new car, insurance will not cover this and you don't have enough saved for a new engine. You are on your own, with no help available from anybody. The feeling of helplessness is crippling.

Hi there, welcome to my last 5 days.

I am angry.

You know what, I'm not mad, I'm disappointed. We got hurt weeks ago, and what have we done since then? Nothing. Been fat and lazy. What the fuck Mike? Are you serious? You should have set a goal of getting back to judo stronger, more agile and in better shape. Instead you ignored our diet, stopped working out and stopped going to judo. Major problem. Tryouts for the Empire State Games are TOMORROW. We could have gone right from work, but nope. Even better, there is nobody from our club fighting the -73kg weight class. We would have been the one to represent JMJC to the state. Instead, your weight is up and your judo is down. Garbage. Unacceptable, complete and utter trash. Go work out, go run 2 miles or you're going to bed without anything to eat.

Textbook narcissist?

Agreed.

Third Place...

Morris Cup was yesterday, longest day ever. Got there at 8:30, worked a table until some time had passed. The little kids are so scrappy when they fight. Then more time passed until the junior division, which took 1000000 years. Seriously, I was a little aggravated and I don't think I got to fight until like 9pm. Which leads us to the results. I took third place for Novice Men -74kg. Third. Place. Ugh. I should have won, except in match 2 I (well, a Russian) dislocated my left shoulder. It didn't hurt too badly due to adrenaline or me just wanting to win, so I didn't go on the DL and just fought through to match 3. That might have been an awful idea, as I couldn't fight well at all, and got thrown for ippon in 2 and 3. I'm immensely aggravated that I lost to two judoka I could have beaten. Again, ugh. The high point of my day was the support from my friends and my family. Jessica, Dave, you guys rock, thank you for sticking it out until the end. (Almost the end for you Jess!) Mom and Dad too, love you guys and thank you for coming out and watching me get injured, sorry about all that. Mike D'Alessio, Sensei DaLessio, thank you for all the training and for getting me into judo. Everyone from JMJC- you guys rule, thanks for all the help and support. All in all, I'm extremely disappointed. It was a great day but I should have performed much better. Empire State Games tryouts in June once this shoulder is healed up.

Dear Crista Leigh, the "Rock Goddess..."

You fucking suck. You literally, utterly, and wholly suck. I hate you, and I don't even know you. Why do I hate you, you ask? Let's start off with my morning. My ears enjoy receiving the musings, shenanigans and other such tomfoolery as Free Beer and Hot Wings put on. I don't exactly mind listening to the traffic or the weather, in fact it's somewhat helpful. Then, I consider reaching for my toothbrush and sharpening it into a shank. I would use this shank to tear apart my ear drums and make it so I don't have to hear what's coming next. A less masochistic approach would work too, although I don't feel like going to the garage for a sledge hammer in a towel. Instead, I suffer you. I suffer your horrible, nasally, drawn-out voice of absolute aural pain. Do you have a fucking speech impediment? What the fuck is, "It's CRISTAAA LEIIIGH the RAWWKK GODDESS?" You sound like a retarded valley girl swallowed a squeaky toy.

And how the fuck are you a xxROCK GODDESSxx? None of us from this generation understand rock. We were not around to bang our heads to Maiden or Metallica in their glory days. You are not, never were, nor will you ever be a rock goddess. A rock goddess is Janis Joplin. You are a stupid radio personality. And here's what's wrong with your Facebook picture- You look like you just walked "out da hood." Please go gargle with bleach, razorblades or something that will ruin your voice beyond recognition. Oh wait, that's over and done with. Become a mute nun.

-Because I can.

Oh, who would ever want to be king?

It's been almost a year since my last blog entry. Surprise surprise, nothing has changed. I work not just one, but two unfulfilling and unrewarding jobs. I make great money, but what good is that? I spent an exorbitant amount of money on an unreciprocated love, which I knew, and I still got angry about it. C'est la vie.

Going back to unrewarding, these jobs suck. I want to help people. That's why I'm here. I've been out of the law enforcement/EMS side of the game for far too long. Taking it to another level would be doing such things globally, an opportunity one could so find with the US military. I will be joining some aspect of the Air Force. Be it Guard, active or Reserve, I will be signing papers within a few months. I will be taking a job that will more than likely be obscenely dangerous, but also immensely rewarding.

There's still so much to say. Too much to say. I feel like a Rubik's cube. At least Valentine's Day is over.